Jokes | Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes | English

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

directions: read these outloud

(English Phrase) I think you need a facelift

(Chinese Phrase) Chin Tu Fat

(English Phrase) Are you hiding a fugitive?

(Chinese Phrase) Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me A.S.A.P.

Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man

Dum Gai

Small Horse

Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?

Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table

Ai Bang Mai Ni

It's very dark in here

Wai So Dim

This is a tow away zone

No Pah King

You are not very bright

Yu So Dum

I got this for free

Ai No Pei

I am not guilty!

Wai Hang Mi?

Please stay a while longer

Wai Go Nao?

They have arrived

Hai Dei Kum.

Stay out of sight

Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile

Wa Sing Ka.

Your body odor is offensive

Yu Stin Ki

I thought you were on a diet?

Wai Yu Mun Ching?

Questions that will always remain unanswered

1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
4. Is there another word for synonym?
5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?"
6. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
12. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

JakJazz

JakJazz

MyEnglishClub

MyEnglishClub

Entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

KlubMewarnai

KlubMewarnai

ATRI

ATRI

Myllur Jazz

Myllur Jazz

Myllur Blogger

Myllur Blogger

HORAS BAH

BBM semakin langka, hidup tambah SIMANUNGKALIT

Harga2 NAEK, SAGALA PANDAPOTAN MANURUNG, banyak SIHOTANG

Hidup bagaikan mendaki TOBING

Tak ada lagi HARAHAP

Kepala pusing sampai SIBUTAR BUTAR

Rambut rontok dan nyaris POLTAK

Jumlah rakyat miskin sudah PANGARIBUAN

Anak-anak menangis MARPAUNG-PAUNG

Otak sudah SITOMPUL

Tapi kita masih diminta sabar SITORUS

Jangan putus HARAHAP katanya

Mintalah PARLINDUNGAN, supaya BONAR-BONAR selamat
.......

BUTET dah ... !!

Posisi tidur pria menunjukkan sifatnya (",)

Posisi tidur pria menunjukkan sifatnya (",)

Hei, Anda bisa meneropong sifat pria bukan cuma dari hobinya, namun juga dari posisi favoritnya saat dia tidur. Posisi tidur favorit pria mencerminkan akan menjadi pasangan seperti apa dia. "Itu indikator terkuat sebab dengan posisi seperti itu biasanya dia merasa paling nyaman," kata Samuel Dunkell, M.D., direktur Insomnia Medical Services di New York City, yang mempelejari keterkaitan antara posisi tidur dan kepribadian.

Penasaran seperti apa? Yuk intip saja:


1. Full Fetal
Pria yang suka posisi tidur seperti bayi dalam kandungan ini biasanya peka dan mudah tersinggung. Dia selalu menjaga hatinya benar-benar. Biasanya dia memeluk bantal sebagai teman tidur demi keamanannya. Ini mengindikasikan pria tersebut butuh jaminan perasaanya mendapat balasan sama dari perempuan yang diincarnya sebelum dia memutuskan untuk meneruskan sebuah hubungan.

2. Face Down
Jika si dia suka tidur dengan wajah menghadap bantal dan perutnya sebagai tumpuan mengindikasikan dia punya semangat dan energi. Dia jenis laki-laki yang tepat waktu dan cenderung mudah meraih kesuksesan. Satu pesannya: Posisi tidur seperti ini mengindikasikan dia seseorang yang suka mengendalikan. Hati-hati!

3. On His Side
Pria yang hobi tidur dengan posisi ini cenderung pola hidupnya serba teratur dan rasional. Sementara posisi semi fetal ini hanya mengambil sedikit jatah tempat tidur, dia cenderung menjadi seorang giving lover. Tertarik?

4. On His Back
Pria yang tidur dengan wajah dan badan menghadap ke atas cenderung punya rasa percaya diri yang tinggi dan mungkin cenderung menjadi sombong. Kenapa demikian? Dari posisi tidurnya saja terlihat, dia menguasai seluruh tempat tidur dengan badan terekspos sedemikian rupa. Dia ingin menjadi pusat perhatian. Kabar baiknya: Dia orang yang terbuka dan mau mencoba hal-hal baru, baik di tempat tidur atau di luar sana. Asyik juga tuh! (hanyawanita.com)

LOVE

-=LOVE=-


Cinta itu seperti kupu-kupu.
Tambah dikejar, tambah lari.
Tapi kalau dibiarkan terbang, dia akan datang disaat kamu tidak mengharapkannya.
Cinta dapat membuatmu bahagia tapi sering juga bikin sedih, tapi cinta baru berharga kalau diberikan kepada seseorang yang menghargainya.
Jadi jangan terburu-buru dan pilih yang terbaik.

Cinta bukan bagaimana menjadi pasangan yang "sempurna" bagi seseorang. Tapi bagaimana menemukan seseorang yang dapat membantumu menjadi dirimu sendiri.

Jangan pernah bilang "I love you" kalau kamu tidak perduli.
Jangan pernah membicarakan perasaan yang tidak pernah ada.
Jangan pernah menyentuh hidup seseorang kalau hal itu akan menghancurkan hatinya.
Jangan pernah menatap matanya kalau semua yang kamu lakukan hanya berbohong.

Hal paling kejam yang seseorang lakukan kepada orang lain adalah membiarkannya jatuh cinta, sementara kamu tidak berniat untuk menangkapnya...

Cinta bukan "Ini salah kamu", tapi "Ma'afkan aku".
Bukan "Kamu dimana sih?", tapi "Aku disini".
Bukan "Gimana sih kamu?", tapi "Aku ngerti kok".
Bukan "Coba kamu gak kayak gini", tapi "Aku cinta kamu seperti kamu apa adanya".

Kompatibilitas yang paling benar bukan diukur berdasarkan berapa lama kalian sudah bersama maupun berapa sering kalian bersama, tapi apakah selama kalian bersama, kalian selalu saling mengisi satu sama lain dan saling membuat hidup yang berkualitas.

Kesedihan dan kerinduan hanya terasa selama yang kamu inginkan dan menyayat sedalam yang kamu ijinkan.
Yang berat bukan bagaimana caranya menanggulangi kesedihan dan kerinduan itu, tapi bagaimana belajar darinya.

Caranya jatuh cinta: jatuh tapi jangan terhuyung- huyung, konsisten tapi jangan memaksa, berbagi dan jangan bersikap tidak adil, mengerti dan cobalah untuk tidak banyak menuntut, sedih tapi jangan pernah simpan kesedihan itu.

Memang sakit melihat orang yang kamu cintai sedang berbahagia dengan orang lain tapi lebih sakit lagi kalau orang yang kamu cintai itu tidak berbahagia bersama kamu.

Cinta akan menyakitkan ketika kamu berpisah dengan seseorang, lebih menyakitkan apabila kamu dilupakan oleh kekasihMu, tapi cinta akan lebih menyakitkan lagi apabila seseorang yang kamu sayangi tidak tahu apa yang sesungguhnya
kamu rasakan.

Yang paling menyedihkan dalam hidup adalah menemukan seseorang dan jatuh cinta, hanya untuk menemukan bahwa dia bukan untuk kamu dan kamu sudah menghabiskan banyak waktu untuk orang yang tidak pernah menghargainya.
Kalau dia tidak "worth it" sekarang, dia tidak akan pernah "worth it" setahun lagi ataupun 10 tahun lagi.
Biarkan dia pergi... walaupun itu menyakitkan..

~Maya.F~
"maya fiore"

Kado Kotak Kosong

Kado Kotak Kosong

Menjelang hari raya, seorang ayah membeli beberapa gulung kertas kado. Putrinya yang masih kecil, masih balita, meminta satu gulung.
"Untuk apa?" tanya sang ayah.
"Untuk kado, mau kasih hadiah." jawab si kecil.
"Jangan dibuang-buang ya." pesan si ayah, sambil memberikan satu gulungan kecil.

Persis pada hari raya, pagi-pagi si kecil sudah bangun dan membangunkan ayahnya,
"Pa, Pa ada hadiah untuk Papa."

Sang ayah yang masih malas-malasan, matanya pun belum melek, menjawab,
"Sudahlah nanti saja."

Tetapi si kecil pantang menyerah,
"Pa, Pa, bangun Pa, sudah siang."
"Ah, kamu gimana sih, pagi-pagi sudah bangunin Papa."

Ia mengenali kertas kado yang pernah ia berikan kepada anaknya.
"Hadiah apa nih?"
"Hadiah hari raya untuk Papa. Buka dong Pa, buka sekarang."

Dan sang ayah pun membuka bingkisan itu. Ternyata di dalamnya hanya sebuah kotak kosong. Tidak berisi apa pun juga.
"Ah, kamu bisa saja. Bingkisannya koq kosong.Buang-buang kertas kado Papa. Kan mahal?"

Si kecil menjawab,
"Nggak Pa, nggak kosong. Tadi, Putri masukin begitu buaanyaak ciuman untuk Papa."

Sang ayah terharu, ia mengangkat anaknya. Dipeluknya, diciumnya.
"Putri, Papa belum pernah menerima hadiah seindah ini. Papa akan selalu menyimpan boks ini. Papa akan bawa ke kantor dan sekali-sekali kalau perlu ciuman Putri, Papa akan mengambil satu. Nanti kalau kosong diisi lagi ya !"

Kotak kosong yang sesaat sebelumnya dianggap tidak berisi, tidak memiliki nilai apa pun, tiba-tiba terisi, tiba-tiba memiliki nilai yang begitu tinggi. Apa yang terjadi ?

Lalu, kendati kotak itu memiliki nilai yang sangat tinggi di mata sang ayah, di mata orang lain tetap juga tidak memiliki nilai apa pun. Orang lain akan tetap menganggapnya kotak kosong. Kosong bagi seseorang bisa dianggap penuh oleh orang lain. Sebaliknya, penuh bagi seseorang bisa dianggap kosong oleh orang lain.

Kosong dan penuh - dua-duanya merupakan produk dari "pikiran" kita sendiri.

Sebagaimana kita memandangi hidup demikianlah kehidupan kita. Hidup menjadi berarti, bermakna, karena kita memberikan arti kepadanya,memberikan makna kepadanya.

Bagi mereka yang tidak memberikan makna, tidak memberikan arti, hidup ini ibarat lembaran kertas yang kosong...........

10 'Zona Erogenous' - Zona Rangsang Wanita

10 'Zona Erogenous' Wanita

Penasaran dengan area rangsang wanita sering bergayut di benak pria, bagaimana membuat pasangannya terangsang, area erotis mana saja yang bisa membuatnya melambung. Well gentlemen, bersiaplah menjelajah 10 zona erogenous (zona rangsang) pasangan anda.
10. Paha dalam

Paha dalam area yang sangat sensitif untuk disentuh, dipijat ataupun dijilat. Serupa dengan kulit dibelakang lutut, paha dalam terdiri dari susunan syaraf akhir yang sangat sensitif, gerakan lembut di area ini akan membuatnya gila.

Jangan menggigitnya, area ini sangat sensitif, melakukannya dengan kasar hanya akan membuat pasangan anda kesakitan, cobalah melakukannya dengan penuh kelembutan.

9. Belakang lutut

Belakang lutut memiliki kulit yang lentur dan semua syaraf berakhir di area ini, menjilati atau menciumnya, ingat jangan memperlakukannya dengan kasar, anda ingin membuatnya kesenangan bukannya kesakitan bukan?

8. Pantat

Banyak wanita mengakui menyukai sentuhan di sekitar pantat mereka, tepukan dan pijatan lembut membuat mereka seperti seorang bayi, meskipun tak semua wanita menyukai permainan belakang dengan menjilat, menghisap, bahkan penetrasi (dengan penis, jari atau keduanya), melakukan anal seks tak selalu disukai semua orang.

7. Tengkuk leher

Bernafaslah di tengkuknya, sensasi udara yang anda hembuskan akan menggugah gairahnya, nafas saja bisa membangkitkan gairahnya, bayangkan jika lidah atau gigi-gigi anda yang mejelajah lehernya.

Gunakan tangan anda juga, angkat rambutnya keatas, dekatkan bibir anda ke lehernya, saat anda mulai menciumnya segera lepaskan rambunya, sebuah gerakan yang memberi arti ungkapan: "Aku sangat menginginkanmu."

6. Telinga

Banyak wanita mengaku suka jika telinga mereka dijilat, dihisap ataupun dicium. Meskipun meniup telinganya bisa juga anda lakukan namun tidak semua wanita menyukainya, mereka lebih menyukai bisikan lembut di telinga mereka. Hindari membisikkan kata-kata ini: "Maukah kau mencuci pakaian senamku nanti malam?" Cobalah membisikkan kata-kata yang lebih erotis di telinganya.

5. Kaki

Banyak wanita menyatakan jika mereka menyukai kaki mereka disentuh, dipijat, bahkan dihisap ataupun dijilat. Beranggapan bahwa kaki mereka benar-benar bersih, para wanita mengaku jika mereka menyukai pasangan mereka lebih memperhatikan telapak kaki, tumit maupun jari-jari kaki mereka, menggelitiknya dan membuatnya kegirangan, karena zona ini sangat sensitif.

4. Pergelangan tangan

Mungkin area ini jarang bahkan mungkin terlewatkan dalam pikirkan kaum pria, namun banyak wanita menyukai pasangannya menyetuh lembut pergelangan tangannya. Jadikan area ini sebagai salah satu bagian foreplay anda, mencium dengan lembut membuatnya merasa sangat dihargai.

3. Payudara (Punting)

Bukan area yang asing lagi bagi setiap lelaki, payudara dikenal memiliki sensitifitas seksual yang tinggi, meremas, membelai, memijat, menghisap ataupun menjilat puting pasangan anda, dijamin akan membuat gairahnya memuncak.

Tentu saja, ada wanita yang mengakui mereka menyukai jika pasangannya sedikit berlaku kasar dengan gundukan bukit mereka, temukan apa yang diinginkan pasangan anda, seberapa lembut sentuhan yang mereka inginkan, temukan dan buat mereka melambung dengan sentuhan anda.

2. Vagina/Clitoris

Klitoris merupakan kunci menuju kepuasan seksual pada sebagian besar wanita. Jika anda tak dapat mengenali klitorisnya, tanyakan padanya jika dia memang mengetuhi letaknya, dan menunjukkannya pada anda. Banyak perbedaan dalam anatomi alat kelamin, bahkan beberapa struktur individu mungkin tidak mudah dikenali, baik bagi laki-laki maupun perempuan.

Klitoris dapat dirangsang dengan lidah, jari atau penggabungan keduanya. Beberapa wanita bahkan menuntun pasangannya ke daerah spesifik rangsang mereka, ikuti dan manjakan apa yang dia inginkan. Lanjutkan mengusap klitorisnya. Jika dia menikmati apa yang anda sedang lakukan, lanjutkan saja dengan irama yang tetap. Saat dia semakin berhasrat anda bisa perlahan dan dengan lemah lembut meningkatkan jumlah tekanan yang sedang anda terapkan, tetapi tetap dengan penuh kelembutan.

Lokasi G-spot mungkin sulit ditemukan dalam dalam vagina, meskipun ada beberapa wanita yang merasa penasaran dan mencari G-spot mereka. Terdapat area didalam vagina yang memberikan perasaan sensitif saat dirangsang, segera setelah anda mendapati lokasi tersebut, sentuhan lembut akan memberikan rangsangan dan sensai yang belum pernah dia rasakan sebelumnya.

1. Bibir

Jika selama ini anda hanya memanipulasi bibirnya lewat mencium, melumat, menghisap, menggigit, cobalah menciumnya dengan hasrat dan gairah lebih dalam, dengan sepenuh hati gunakan bibir, lidah dan gigi pada bibir atas dan bawahnya, jangan hanya asal mencium.

10 hal yang dijamin bakal membuatnya kegirangan, namun tetap harus anda ingat semua wanita memiliki area dan tingkat sensitifitas yang bervariatif, tak semua wanita menyukai hal yang mungkin disukai wanita lain. Kenalilah tubuh pasangan anda, banyak sekali area wanita selain organ genital mereka yang menantang untuk dijelajahi.

Kemacetan Lalu Lintas Picu Kemandulan?

Kemacetan Lalu Lintas Picu Kemandulan?

Sebuah studi menyebutkan jika asap pembuangan bahan bakar kendaraan sangat berpengaruh terhadap tingkat kesuburan pria. Para peneliti di Itali menemukan asap polusi lalu lintas mengurangi kualitas sperma pada lelaki muda dan setengah baya. Mereka percaya oksida nitrogen dan timah yang berasal dari gas buang kendaraan bermotor menjadi pemicu penurunan kualitas sperma.

Mereka mengemukakan kemacetan lalu lintas dan tingginya tingkat polusi gas buang kendaraan beresiko pada tingkat kesuburan pria yang banyak menghabiksan waktu lebih dari enam jam dijalanan.

Asap kendaraan
Dr Michele De Rosa dan kolega dari University of Naples meneliti sperma 85 pria yang bekerja di di gerbang tol dan rata-rata mereka lebih banyak terkena asap pembuangan kendaraan selama enam jam perhari.

Mereka membandingkan hasil penemuan tersebut dengan kualitas sprema 85 pria usia sepadan yang tinggal di daerah sama tetapi tidak terkena polusi gas buang kendaraan bermotor.

Hasil penelitian menyebutkan kualitas sprema pekerja gerbang tol lebih rendah dan kurang mampu membuahi sel telur wanita. Umumnya sperma mereka sangat lambat dan kurang aktif sehingga potensi untuk membuahi sel telur sangat rendah, jelas Dr Michele De Rosa.

Dari penelitian tersebut De Rosa menyimpulkan kandungan timah, oksida nitrogen, oksida belerang, dan karbon monoksida memberi dampak buruk pada kualitas sperma pria, terutama pada pria muda dan paruh baya yang banyak menghabiskan waktu di jalan raya dengan tingkat polusi gas buang kendaraan bermotor lebih tinggi, terutama pada jam macet.

De Rosa dan rekan masih melanjutkan penelitian apakah penurunan kualitas sprema tersebut hanya besifat temporer dan akan kembali meningkat saat mereka mengurangi aktifitas mereka di jalan raya.

Penelitian serupa juga dilakukan Professor Harry Moore dari Sheffield University, UK. Moore meneliti efek kimia yang dihasilkan pembakaran bbm kendaraan bermotor pada tingkat kesuburan reproduksi pria.

Pria yang banyak menghabiskan aktivitas di jalan raya dengan tingkat populasi tinggi beresiko mengalami penurunan tingkat kesuburan.

"Kita melihat terdapat kecenderungan penurunan kualitas sperma pria yang tinggal di area perkotaan dibanding dengan pria pedesaan yang melakukan aktivitas dijalan raya berpolusi," jelas Moore yang membukukan penelitiannya di Journal Human Reproduction.

Intip Kualitas Seks Wanita Dari Gigi

Intip Kualitas Seks Wanita Dari Gigi

Tertawalah karena tertawa itu sehat. Senyumlah, karena senyum itu membuat Anda jauh lebih menarik, selain itu ternyata tertawa dan senyum memiliki pesan tertentu bagi lawan jenis. Konon, kualitas seks kaum hawa ini dapat terbaca dari bentuk gigi yang nampak saat Anda tertawa maupun senyum.
Dalam sebuah buku jawa kuno bertajuk Bethaljemur Addamakna mengungkap kualitas seks yang dimiliki wanita dilihat dari bentuk giginya. Jadi jika Anda seorang wanita yang suka tertawa, Anda perlu hati-hati karena orang di hadapan Anda bisa jadi sedang membaca rahasia Anda.

Buku tersebut juga menguak kaitan senyum bentuk gigi seorang wanita dengan rahasia kualitas seksual yang dimilikinya. So bagaimana dengan gigi Anda? termasuk tipe wanita yang bagaimanakah Anda?

Gigi tampak jarang dan kecil

Wanita yang memiliki gigi kecil dan jarang-jarang ini biasanya memiliki perangai yang sangat buruk. Wanita ini paling suka menilai orang lain tapi ia tidak mau dirinya dinilai oleh orang lain. Buruknya lagi, wanita ini tidak pernah mau kalah di hadapan suaminya. Kualitas seks yang dimiliki wanita ini juga cenderung biasa-biasa saja, bahkan cenderung pasrah jika diajak berhubungan oleh pasangannya.

Gigi tampak sedang dan rata

Wanita bergigi seperti biasanya memiliki sifat yang baik hati dan suka menolong. Bahkan kebiasaannya selalu berusaha untuk membahagiakan pasangannya. Yang mengasyikkan lagi, wanita bergigi seperti ini, pandai bermain di atas ranjang. Bahkan kemampuannya patut diperhitungkan karena mampu main berjam-jam di ranjang. Tinggal bagaimana sang laki-laki mengimbangi permainan wanita bergigi rata ini.

Gigi tampak besar dan jarang-jarang

Tipe wanita seperti ini biasanya suka memfitnah dan selalu iri hati terhadap keberhasilan orang lain. Bahkan, kalau keinginannya tidak dituruti, ia sering kali marah-marah dan melakukan apa saja agar kemauannya itu terpenuhi. Pria yang yang mendapat istri bertipe seperti ini hendaknya berhati-hati, setidaknya harus sabar menyikapi segala kelakuannya. Apalagi menghadapi sifat manja yang dibuat-buat akan membuat kita semakin kesal. Sehingga kalau ada pria yang mendapat wanita bertipe gigi seperti ini, hendaknya mampu membimbing dan harus extra sabar menghadapi segala perbuatannya. Dalam permainan di ranjang tipe wanita seperti ini tak pernah mau mengalah pada pasangannya dan terbilang sangat agresif.

Gigi tampak maju ke depan

Tipe wanita ini macam-macam, kalau giginya kecil ia biasanya masih bisa ditoleransi, artinya tidak terlalu memeras suami. Namun, jika bentuk giginya besar-besar, laki-laki yang mendapat cinta dari wanita ini harus siap menerima segala caci maki yang kadang-kadang tidak mendasar. Wanita dengan bentuk gigi seperti ini biasanya mudah mengeluh dan tidak pernah menerima apa yang telah didapatkan. Tapi dalam urusan ranjang, wanita bertipe gigi seperti ini termasuk golongan wanita yang agresif.

Gigi gingsul

Jika wanita ini memiliki gingsulnya tepat pada pinggir gigi, tentu menambah kecantikan si wanita tersebut. Namun jika sebaliknya, gingsul bertempat di depan, maka akan mengganggu wajah si pemilik gigi tersebut. Tapi pada dasarnya wanita yang memiliki gigi gingsul ini enak diajak bicara. Pengetahuannya luas walaupun sikapnya agak kekanak-kanakan. Dalam urusan seks, wanita ini sangat pintar membahagiakan pasangannya. Wanita bertipe gigi seperti ini sangat mengetahui apa yang diinginkan oleh pasangannya.

Gigi tampak masuk ke dalam

Biasanya wanita yang memiliki gigi seperti ini, sangat pendiam. Mungkin lebih pas dikatakan pemalu. Sikapnya yang malu dan kurang terbuka, membuat banyak kaum pria keranjingan untuk membuka sifat dasarnya. Kalau ia berparas cantik, banyak pria yang akan berlomba mendapatkan gadis bergigi masuk ke dalam ini. Sayangnya dalam hal seks wanita bertipe gigi seperti ini agak pasif. Sehingga si pria harus pintar merangsang agar wanita ini menjadi aktif.

Gigi kecil dan rancak

Umumnya wanita bergigi kecil memiliki wajah imut-imut. Orang mengatakan baby face, artinya tampak muda terus walaupun usianya menginjak 40 lebih. Sifat wanita ini menyenangkan, dia bisa memberikan perhatian penuh terhadap pasangannya. Suka menolong dan baik bertutur kata. Jadi berbahagialah bagi pria yang mendapatkan wanita bergigi kecil dan rancak ini. Sebab hari-harinya selalu dipenuhi oleh keindahan. Apalagi jika diatas ranjang, wanita ini selalu dapat mengimbangi keinginan pasangannya.

THREE KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL LIVING

A funny story tells about three high school seniors who went to New
York for their senior trip. When they arrived in the city, they went
immediately to one of the finest hotels and registered for a room.
They were assigned a room on the 30th floor.

After settling in, they decided to go see the sights. They toured
Manhattan, the Empire State Building, Wall Street and the Statue of
Liberty. They finally returned to their hotel utterly exhausted.

When they asked the desk clerk for the key to their room, he
said, "I am sorry, the elevators are not running." He told them that
they could either wait or use the stairway. The thought of a soft
bed was irresistible, so they decided to climb the stairs -- all
thirty stories.

One of the boys had an idea. "On the way up, each of us will tell the
funniest story we know for ten flights of stairs," he suggested. The
other two agreed and started to climb. When they reached the tenth
floor, they were still going strong. By the twentieth floor, their
legs were rubber and they panted for breath. The steps grew harder
to climb and the one whose turn it was to tell a funny story
said, "I'm sorry, I'm just too tired to talk."

They trudged on in silence. When they reached the 29th floor, one of
them began to laugh. He sat down on the steps and laughed
hysterically. Finally, he said to his amazed companions, "I just
thought of the funniest thing that could ever happen."

"What is it?" they asked. He said, "We left the key in the lobby."
Many people feel as if they have lost the key to getting what they
want in life -- meaning, happiness, success, peace, security. They
have been trudging and toiling at length but feel as if they are
locked out of that place they really want to be. They think, "If
only I had the key to a whole and happy life!"

That wise and amazing woman Eleanor Roosevelt gave three keys to
meaning, happiness, success and peace. "One is that you do whatever
comes your way as well as you can," she said. She knew that the key
to satisfaction in life is to take pride in whatever you're given to
do, regardless how grand or humble the undertaking.

"Another is that you think as little as possible about yourself and
as much as possible about other people and about things that are
interesting," she continued. Eleanor Roosevelt knew that those who
take a genuine interest in the concerns of others and in great ideas
lose their desire to worry needlessly about themselves.

"The third is that you receive more joy out of giving joy to others
and [that you] should put a good deal of thought into the happiness
that you are able to give," she concluded. She was aware that the
key to finding happiness is in giving happiness -- wherever and
whenever possible.

These are three keys that should neither be lost nor locked away in
a safe place. Learn to use them -- every day -- and you'll open
doors to those important and wonderful things that will make your
life worth living !
(This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book
TOUCHING MOMENTS 60-second readings that touch the mind and heart)

KEBUTUHAN PRIMER PRIA & WANITA

Wanita perlu menerima :

1. Perhatian
2. Pengertian
3. Hormat
4. Kesetiaan
5. Penegasan
6. Jaminan

Pria perlu menerima :

1. Kepercayaan
2. Penerimaan
3. Penghargaan
4. Kekaguman
5. Persetujuan
6. Dorongan


Memahami kebutuhan-kebutuhan primer Anda

Tentunya setiap pria dan wanita pada akhirnya membutuhkan kedua belas jenis cinta itu. Mengakui keenam jenis cinta yang dibutuhkan kaum wanita tidak berarti kaum pria tidak membutuhkan jenis-jenis cinta ini. Kaum pria juga membutuhkan perhatian, pengertian, rasa hormat, kesetiaan, kebenaran dan ketenteraman. Yang dimaksud "kebutuhan primer" adalah orang perlu lebih dulu memuaskan kebutuhan primernya sebelum sanggup sepenuhnya menerima dan menghargai jenis-jenis cinta lainnya.

Kebutuhan primer harus lebih dulu dipenuhi sebelum orang sanggup sepenuhnya menerima dan menghargai jenis-jenis cinta lainnya.


1. Wanita membutuhkan Perhatian, Pria membutuhkan Kepercayaan

Saat pria memperlihatkan minat terhadap perasaan-perasaan wanita dan menunjukkan kepedulian mendalam akan kesejahteraan wanita itu, si wanita merasa dicinta dan diperhatikan. Dengan membuat si wanita merasa istimewa dengan cara yang penuh cinta, pria itu berhasil memuaskan kebutuhan primernya yang pertama. Tentu saja si wanita makin mempercayainya. Rasa percaya ini membuatnya lebih terbuka dan lebih mudah menerima.

Bila wanita menunjukkan sikap terbuka dan mudah menerima terhadap pria, pria itu merasa dipercaya. Mempercayai pria berarti meyakini bahwa ia melakukan yang terbaik dan bahwa pria tersebut menginginkan yang terbaik bagi pasangannya. Bila reaksi-reaksi si wanita mengungkapkan kepercayaan positif terhadap kemampuan dan niat pria, kebutuhan cinta utama pria itu pun terpuaskan. Otomatis pria itu jadi lebih penuh cinta dan perhatian terhadap perasaan-perasaan dan kebutuhan si wanita.


2. Wanita membutuhkan Pengertian, Pria membutuhkan Penerimaan

Bila pria mendengarkan tanpa menghakimi, melainkan dengan empati dan kedekatan terhadap wanita yang sedang mengungkapkan perasaan-perasaannya, wanita itu merasa didengarkan dan dipahami. Sikap penuh pengertian tidak berarti mengetahui pikiran atau perasaan seseorang, melainkan berusaha mengumpulkan makna-makna dari apa yang didengar, dan bergerak untuk membenarkan apa yang disampaikan. Semakin terpenuhi kebutuhan wanita untuk didengarkan dan dimengerti, semakin mudah baginya untuk memberi penerimaan yang dibutuhkan pasangannya.

Bila wanita dengan penuh cinta menerima pria tanpa berusaha mengubahnya, pria itu merasa diterima. Sikap menerima itu tidak menolak, melainkan menegaskan bahwa pria itu diterima dengan gembira. Ini tidak berarti si wanita yakin pria itu sempurna, melainkan memperlihatkan bahwa ia tidak mencoba memperbaiki pria itu, bahwa ia mempercayai si pria untuk membuat perbaikan-perbaikan sendiri. Setelah merasa diterima, lebih mudah bagi pria untuk mendengarkan dan memberi wanita pemahaman yang dibutuhkan dan layak diterimanya.

3. Wanita membutuhkan Rasa Hormat, Pria membutuhkan Penghargaan

Wanita merasa dihormati bila pria menanggapinya dengan mengakui dan mengutamakan hak-hak, harapan dan kebutuhan-kebutuhannya. Bila tingkah laku pria itu mempertimbangkan pikiran-pikiran dan perasaannya, wanita tersebut pasti merasa dihormati. Ungkapan-ungkapan rasa hormat fisik dan nyata, misalnya dengan memberi bunga dan mengingat ulang tahun, sangat penting untuk memuaskan kebutuhan cinta utama nomor tiga pada wanita. Bila wanita merasa dihormati, jauh lebih mudah baginya untuk memberi suaminya penghargaan yang layak diterimanya.

Bila wanita mengakui telah menerima manfaat dan nilai pribadi dari usaha-usaha dan tingkah laku pria, si pria jadi merasa dihargai. Penghargaan merupakan reaksi alami terhadap pasangan didukung. Setelah merasa dihargai, pria tahu usahanya tidak sia-sia; dengan demikian, ia didorong untuk memberi lebih banyak. Pria yang merasa dihargai secara otomatis lebih bersemangat dan terdorong untuk lebih menghormati pasangannya.

4. Wanita membutuhkan Kesetiaan, Pria membutuhkan Kekaguman

Bila pria mengutamakan kebutuhan-kebutuhan wanita dan dengan bangga mendukung dan memuaskan si wanita, kebutuhan utama cinta nomor empat wanita tersebut terpuaskan. Wanita berkembang subur jika ia merasa dipuja dan istimewa. Pria dapat memenuhi kebutuhan ini dengan lebih mementingkan kebutuhan dan perasaan wanita itu daripada minat-minatnya sendiri seperti pekerjaan, pelajaran, dan rekreasi. Jika si wanita merasa dirinyalah yang terpenting dalam kehidupan pria itu, dengan mudah ia akan memberikan kekagumannya.

Seperti halnya wanita perlu merasakan perhatian pria, pria pun perlu merasakan kekaguman wanita. Mengagumi pria adalah memandangnya dengan penuh kekaguman, rasa senang dan persetujuan yang menyenangkan. Pria merasa dikagumi jika wanita gembira dan takjub akan sifat-sifat khasnya atau bakat-bakatnya yang mungkin mencakup rasa humor, keperkasaan, ketekunan, kejujuran, integritas, kemesraan, kebaikan hati, cinta, pengertian dan sifat-sifat baik lain. Bila pria merasa dikagumi, ia akan merasa cukup aman untuk membaktikan diri bagi isterinya dan menyanjungnya.

5. Wanita membutuhkan Penegasan, Pria membutuhkan Persetujuan.

Bila pria tidak keberatan atau tidak menentang perasaan dan kebutuhan wanita, melainkan menerimanya dan menegaskan keabsahannya, wanita akan betul-betul merasa dicintai, karena kebutuhan primernya yang kelima telah terpuaskan. Sikap mengesahkan pria menegaskan hak wanita untuk merasa sebagaimana dirasakannya. (Perlu diingat, pria dapat menghargai sudut pandang wanita, meski ia sendiri mempunyai sudut pandang berbeda). Setelah pria belajar menunjukkan pada wanita sikap mengiyakan ini, pria itu pasti memperoleh persetujuan yang terutama dibutuhkannya.

Jauh di dalam lubuk hatinya, setiap pria ingin menjadi pahlawan atau ksatria dengan baju baja berkilauan bagi wanita. Tanda bahwa pria telah lulus ujian seorang wanita adalah persetujuannya. Sikap menyetujui ini berupa pengakuan atas kebaikan dalam diri si pria dan mengungkapkan kepuasan menyeluruh terhadap pria itu. (Ingat, memberikan restu kepada pria tidak lalu berarti sependapat dengannya). Sikap menyetujui berarti mengakui atau mencari alasan-alasan yang baik di balik apa yang dilakukan pria itu. Setelah pria menerima persetujuan yang dibutuhkan, jadi lebih mudah baginya untuk menghargai perasaan-perasaan si wanita.

6. Wanita perlu Jaminan, Pria perlu Dorongan

Bila pria berulang-ulang memperlihatkan bahwa ia memperhatikan, memahami, menghormati, menghargai dan menyayangi pasangannya, kebutuhan utama pasangannya untuk diyakinkan telah terpenuhi. Sikap meyakinkan membuat wanita merasa senantiasa dicintai.

Pria umumnya membuat kekeliruan dengan menganggap bahwa sekali ia telah memenuhi semua kebutuhan cinta primer isterinya, dan isterinya merasa bahagia dan aman, maka sejak saat itu isterinya harus tahu bahwa ia dicintai. Padahal ini tidak cukup. Untuk memuaskan kebutuhan cinta primer nomor enam isterinya, pria harus ingat untuk meyakinkannya berulang kali.

Demikian juga, pria terutama merasa perlu mendapat dorongan dari wanita. Sikap membesarkan hati dari wanita bisa memberi harapan dan keberanian kepada pria. Wanita dapat mengungkapkan kepercayaan akan kemampuan-kemampuan serta watak si pria. Sikap mengungkapkan kepercayaan, penerimaan, penghargaan, kekaguman dan persetujuan mendorong pria untuk menjadi pribadi yang sebaik-baiknya. Karena merasa berbesar hati, pria terdorong untuk memberi kepada wanita jaminan penuh cinta yang dibutuhkannya.

Pria dapat menampilkan sisinya yang terbaik setelah kebutuhan-kebutuhan cinta primernya yang keenam terpuaskan. Tapi kadang-kadang wanita tidak tahu apa yang terutama dibutuhkan pria. Ia memberikan cinta penuh perhatian, bukannya cinta penuh kepercayaan. Dengan demikian, ia secara tak sadar menyabot hubungan mereka.


Dari : Dikutip penuh dari Buku Mars and Venus, John Gray, Ph.D

A BEAUTIFUL ANALOGY!

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't
want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the barber. "What happens, is, people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

If you think God exists, forward this on to other people---If you think God does not exist, just delete it!

Berkah Rasa S a k I t

Menurut suatu laporan medis: satu dari 400.000 bayi yang lahir setiap tahun akan menjalani kehidupan yang kurang menguntungkan; mereka akan sering melukai diri sendiri, kadang bisa sangat parah dan tanpa menyadarinya.

Anak-anak semacam itu mengidap penyakit keturunan yang disebut familial dysautonomia: mereka tidak mampu merasakan sakit/nyeri. Anak-anak semacam ini bisa bermain-main mengiris tubuhnya sendiri, memegang setrika panas, jatuh dan patah tulang, tanpa pernah menyadari bahwa itu semua tidak semestinya mereka lakukan. Mereka tidak akan mengeluh sakit tenggorokan atau sakit perut sehingga orang tua mereka tidak akan tahu bahwa mereka sedang terkena penyakit, sampai segalanya terlambat.

Adakah di antara kita yang mau hidup seperti itu, tanpa rasa sakit?

Memang, rasa sakit itu tidak mengenakkan, tetapi itu adalah bagian penting jika kita hidup.

Suatu kali, Sang Guru bertanya kepada murid-muridnya: "Siapa yang mau hidup tanpa masalah?" Semua murid tanpa ragu-ragu mengangkat tangan.

Sang Guru melanjutkan bahwa setiap hari dalam perjalanan ke tempat kerja dia melewati sebuah tempat di mana orang-orang yang tinggal di sana tidak punya masalah sama sekali. Sang Guru kembali bertanya: "Apakah ada di antara kalian yang mau bergabung dengan orang-orang bebas masalah ini?"

Para murid berpikir bahwa guru mereka sedang bergurau, namun Sang Guru meyakinkan mereka lagi: "Orang-orang ini tidak pernah bermasalah dengan berita di koran, tidak ada masalah pekerjaan, pernikahan, makanan, dan jelas sudah bebas finansial lho!"

Ketika para murid menjadi makin penasaran, Sang Guru menyelentuk: "Tempat itu adalah pekuburan dan orang-orang di sana sudah almarhum semua...."

Masalah adalah indikator kehidupan. Selama kita hidup, masalah akan senantiasa membayangi. Jika kita mampu "mengenali" bahwa suatu masalah adalah masalah, itu sudah merupakan berkah tersendiri.

Kalau kita kaji lebih dalam, masalah menawarkan "kesempatan" bagi kita untuk memecahkannya. Orang yang berada di puncak adalah orang yang mampu memecahkan masalah. Apa yang selama ini terjadi jika kita mampu mengatasi masalah yang tidak dapat diatasi oleh orang lain?

Ada kalanya, suatu masalah mungkin saja betul-betul getir;
memang... tidak semua "obat yang manjur" manis bukan?

Be Happy!

Sumber: Unknown (Tidak Diketahui)

GlamourTeeth.com

http://www.drkimberly.com/

A Positive Attitude Towards Your Dental Health Is The Key To Successful Dental Care.

Hosted By: Dr. Michael Kimberly

It's Easy to Earn Money

by Bob Proctor


There is a very real possibility that everything you and I have been taught

about how to earn money is so far from the truth that it's almost comical.

Earning money has nothing to do with age, formal education, gender or

geography. It has nothing to do with past experience or your formal years of

education or your level of intellect. Check it out... there are individuals

who are functionally illiterate who have become multi-millionaires, while

there are others who are absolutely brilliant and they are broke. Virtually

anyone can be taught how to earn millions of dollars and yet the sad truth

is that 97 out of every 100 people are born, live their entire lives, and

die without ever learning how to earn money. To perpetuate this ridiculous

problem, their ignorance is passed along from one generation to the next.



Our school system has been designed as an environment to enlighten young

minds, to replace ignorance with understanding and thereby improve the

quality of life. Our educational system has obviously been successful in

many areas. However, it has woefully neglected one important subject, "How

to Earn Money." You can earn a doctorate degree in economics and have little

or no knowledge of how to earn money. A lack of understanding in this area

is the cause of numerous unwanted and unnecessary problems, since money is

the medium of exchange that is used worldwide for other people's products

and services.



There has always been a small, select group, approximately 3% of our

population, who clearly understand that prosperity consciousness is the

primary cause of wealth and their prosperity consciousness, like ignorance,

is also passed down from one generation to the next.



Let's look at "money." What is it? Money is a reward you receive for the

service you render. The more valuable the service, the greater the reward.

Thinking of ways we can be of greater service will not only help us earn

more money, it will also enable us to grow intellectually and spiritually.



Money Is An Idea

The paper you fold and place in your purse or pocket is not money. It is

paper with ink on it. It represents money, but it is not money. Money is an

idea. The earning of money has nothing to do with the paper stuff. It has to

do with consciousness.



I am aware there are books that instruct you on how to manipulate the

market, stocks and people... they might even help you get money. But, let me

caution you... when there is no spiritual growth... there is no spiritual

strength... there is no lasting happiness... and, there is no real or

lasting wealth.



To accumulate wealth, a person must become very comfortable with the idea

of money. That may sound strange, however most people are not comfortable

with the idea of money, which is why they do not have any. The cause of

poverty is poverty consciousness. A poverty consciousness will cause a

person to see, hear, smell, think and feel ... lack and limitation.



The late Mike Todd said, "Being broke is a temporary situation. Being poor

is a mental state."



He was correct. There are wealthy people who lose every cent they have

through a series of mistakes in judgment ... but that does not make them

poor. They will have it all back in a short time because of their prosperity

consciousness.



If you have any question in your mind regarding your level of consciousness

with respect to money, be very honest with yourself and look at your

results. Study the patterns in your life.



If you want to improve your financial position in life, focus your

attention on creating a higher level of prosperity consciousness. Begin by

preparing a powerful, positive affirmation and fuel it with emotion. When

you do this, you are depositing this creative energy in the treasury of your

sub-conscious mind. And, by repeating this process over and over and over

again every day, it will begin to alter your conditioning and mentally move

you in the direction you want to go. Write it out, read it, feel it, and let

it take hold of your mind.



How much money do you want? Saying you want more is not good enough. Five

dollars is more. How much more? Decide on a figure. Be specific. You will

not seriously want more money than you are capable of earning... however,

you would be wise to remember, you must earn it.



There Are Three Income Earning Strategies

Trading time for money - By far the worst of the three income earning

strategies, it is employed by approximately 96% of our population - doctors,

lawyers, accountants, laborers, etc. There is an inherent problem with this

strategy - saturation. You run out of time. If a person accumulates any

degree of wealth employing this strategy, it will be at the expense of a

life. They compromise on the car they drive, the house they live in, the

clothes they choose and the vacations they take. They rarely, if ever, get

what they want.



Investing money to earn money - This strategy is used by approximately 3%

of the population. The number is small for the obvious reason - very few

people have any money to invest. Many people who effectively employ this

strategy follow the advice of a trusted, knowledgeable advisor.



Leveraging yourself to earn money - This is where you multiply your time

through the efforts of others by setting up Multiple Sources of Income

(MSI). This is, without question, the very best way to increase your income.

Make a decision to have many sources of income; it's the strategy that

wealthy people have used dating clear back to the ancient Babylonians.

Unfortunately, this strategy is only used by approximately 1% of our

population, yet that 1% earns approximately 96% of all the money that is

earned! You are only a decision away from membership.



Once you determine how much money you want to earn, write it down on a

sheet of paper in large figures. Look at the number with the dollar sign

beside it and tell yourself over and over again:



That Amount of Money is an Effect.

It Represents a Reward that I Want to Receive.

What Service Can I Render that Would be Deserving of that Reward?



You can take the total figure and divide it into multiple parts. Each part

would represent a source of income. Each source of income represents a

separate reward that you would receive for a service you would render.



Work on one source of income at a time; each one can become an exciting

part of your life. What you are actually doing is thinking of different ways

you can be of service to others.



Think of how you can do whatever you do - more effectively.

Think of how you can improve the quality and quantity of service you render.

Think of how you can help people in a greater way.



Money is the ultimate servant.

The more you earn, the more you can help others.



=========================================

For 40 years, Bob Proctor has focused his entire life and agenda around

helping people create lives of prosperity, rewarding relationships and

spiritual awareness.

You & birthmonth

IS IT TRUE? JUST FIND OUT!

What your Birth month means


JANUARY

* Ambitious and serious
* Loves to teach and be taught
* Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
* Likes to criticize
* Hardworking and productive
* Smart, neat and organized
* Sensitive and has deep thoughts
* Knows how to make others happy
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Rather reserved
* Highly attentive
* Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
* Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
* Loves children
* Homely person
* Loyal
* Needs to improve social abilities
* Easily jealous
FEBRUARY

* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Low self esteem
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
* Realizing dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves entertainment and leisure
* Romantic on the inside not outside
* Superstitious and ludicrous
* Spendthrift
* Learns to show emotions

MARCH
* Attractive personality
* Affectionate
* Shy and reserved
* Secretive
* Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
* Loves peace and serenity
* Sensitive to others
* Loves to serve others
* Not easily angered
* Trustworthy
* Appreciative and returns kindness
* Observant and assess others
* Revengeful
* Loves to dream and fantasize
* Loves traveling
* Loves attention
* Loves home decors
* Musically talented
* Loves special things
* Moody

APRIL

* Active and dynamic
* Decisive and hateful but tends to regret
* Attractive and affectionate to oneself
* Strong mentality
* Loves attention
* Diplomatic
* Consoling
* Friendly and solves people's problems
* Brave and fearless
* Adventurous
* Loving and caring
* Suave and generous
* Emotional
* Revengeful
* Aggressive
* Hasty
* Good memory
* Moving
* Motivate oneself and the others
* Sickness usually of the head and chest
* Easily get too jealous
MAY

* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* Loves traveling
* Dislike being at home
* Restless
* Hardworking
* High spirited
* Spendthrift
JUNE

* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Easily bored
* Fussy
* Seldom show emotions
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies
* Those who hates me are friends


JULY

* Fun to be with
* Secretive
* Difficult to fathom and to be understood
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Takes pride in oneself
* Has reputation
* Easily consoled
* Honest
* Concern about people's feelings
* Tactful
* Friendly
* Approachable
* Very emotional
* Temperamental and unpredictable
* Moody and easily hurt
* Witty and sarky
* Sentimental
* Not revengeful
* Forgiving but never forgets
* Dislike nonsensical and unnecessary things
* Guides others physically and mentally
* Sensitive and forms impressions carefully
* Caring and loving
* Treats others equally
* Strong sense of sympathy
* Wary and sharp
* Judge people through observations
* Hardworking
* No difficulties i
AUGUST

* Loves to joke
* Attractive
* Suave and caring
* Brave and fearless
* Firm and has leadership qualities
* Knows how to console others
* Too generous and egoistic
* Takes high pride of oneself
* Thirsty for praises
* Extraordinary spirit
* Easily angered
* Angry when provoked
* Easily jealous
* Observant
* Careful and cautious
* Thinks quickly
* Independent thoughts
* Loves to lead and to be led
* Loves to dream
* Talented in the arts, music and defense
* Sensitive but not petty
* Poor resistance against illnesses
* Learns to relax
* Hasty and rushy
* Romantic
* Loving and caring
* Loves to make friends
SEPTEMBER

* Suave and compromising
* Careful, cautious and organized
* Likes to point out people's mistakes
* Likes to criticize
* Quiet but able to talk well
* Calm and cool
* Kind and sympathetic
* Concerned and detailed
* Trustworthy, loyal and honest
* Does work well
* Sensitive
* Thinking
* Good memory
* Clever and knowledgeable
* Loves to look for information
* Must control oneself when criticizing
* Able to motivate oneself
* Understanding
* Secretive
* Loves sports, leisure and traveling
* Hardly shows emotions
* Tends to bottle up feelings
* Choosy especially in relationships
* Loves wide things
* Systematic


OCTOBER

* Loves to chat
* Loves those who loves him
* Loves to takes things at the centre
* Attractive and suave
* Inner and physical beauty
* Does not lie or pretend
* Sympathetic
* Treats friends importantly
* Always making friends
* Easily hurt but recovers easily
* Bad tempered
* Selfish
* Seldom helps unless asked
* Daydreamer
* Very opinionated
* Does not care of what others think
* Emotional
* Decisive
* Strong clairvoyance
* Loves to travel, the arts and literature
* Soft-spoken, loving and caring
* Romantic
* Touchy and easily jealous
* Concerned
* Loves outdoors
* Just and fair
* Spendthrift and easily influenced
* Easily lose confidence
NOVEMBER

*Has a lot of ideas
* Difficult to fathom
* Thinks forward
* Unique and brilliant
* Extraordinary ideas
* Sharp thinking
* Fine and strong clairvoyance
* Can become good doctors
* Careful and cautious
* Dynamic in personality
* Secretive
* Inquisitive
* Knows how to dig secrets
* Always thinking
* Less talkative but amiable
* Brave and generous
* Patient
* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* If there is a will, there is a way
* Determined
* Never give up
* Hardly become angry unless provoked
* Loves to be alone
* Thinks differently from others
* Sharp-minded
* Motivates oneself
* Does not appreciates praises
* High-spirited
* Well-built and tough
* Deep love
DECEMBER

* Loyal and generous
* Patriotic
* Active in games and interactions
* Impatient and hasty
* Ambitious
* Influential in organizations
* Fun to be with
* Loves to socialize
* Loves praises
* Loves attention
* Loves to be loved
* Honest and trustworthy
* Not pretending
* Short tempered
* Changing personality
* Not egoistic
* Takes high pride in oneself
* Hates restrictions
* Loves to joke
* Good sense of humor
* Logical

JOKE: Mother in Laws

A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there his mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker said, "You can have her body shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why? Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when she can be buried in the Holy Land for only $150.00?"

The man said, "A man died here 2000 years ago, he was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

Tipe rambut anda

Yang mana satu rambut anda sebenarnya .............

1) RAMBUT LURUS - bijak, seorang yang happy, bergaya,
cemburu,dan pandai dalam menguruskan sesuatu tanpa pertolongan

2) RAMBUT KERINTING TEBAL- kurang bijak, degil, cemburu kuat,
romantic, banyak pergaulan dan susah dalam menyelesaikan
masalah diri, tidak suka termenung

3) RAMBUT KERENTING NEGRO- bijak, ego, cemburu buta, romantic,
memilih dan mudah mengamuk bila susah hendak selesaikan
masalah

4) RAMBUT IKAL MAYANG- bijak, berfikir sebelum melakukan sesuatu,
berfikiran terbuka, banyak pergaulan, dan mudah memaaf kan seseorang
dengan kesilapan lalu.

5) RAMBUT HALUS/LEMBUT- bijak sangat, memilih, pemaaf, manja,
tegas dan cepat melakukan perkerjaan dengan bersungguh-sungguh.

6) RAMBUT SIKIT- bijak, sentiasa ber! fikiran negatif pada seseorang,
ego,dan pandai membuka perniagaan walaupun kecil.

7) RAMBUT PERANG- kurang bijak, berfikiran terbuka, pemaaf,
sosial dan bijak lari daripada masalah.

8) RAMBUT TEBAL- bijak, degil, cemburu, romantic, kasar,
banyak kawan, dan pandai mengambil hati seseorang.

9) RAMBUT KUSUT- sangat bijak, berfikiran terbuka, banyak
pergaulan, garang, susah nak memaafkan seseorang, dan pandai dalam
mengurusan sesuatu tanpa pertolongan.

10) RAMBUT BERUBAN- kurang bijak, suka termenung, sosial sikit,
berfikiran terbuka dan pandai selesai kan masalah diri

11) TIADA RAMBUT- macam mana nak kate ye....kesian

12) RAMBUT WARNA KEMERAH-MERAHAN ATAU KEHIJAU HIJAUAN
rambutan

TIPS: Hidup Sehat Ala Binatang

Reporter: Puteri Fatia


Detikhot - Jakarta, Beberapa binatang punya gaya hidup yang boleh ditiru. Kalo bikin kamu sehat nggak ada salahnya kan belajar dari unta, sapi, bahkan si anak anjin yang lucu.

1. Unta: Minumlah seperti Unta! Terus minum sepanjang hari. Jangan tunggu sampai haus. Bawa selalu botol minum. Usahaka botol minum selalu penuh agar kamu nggak dehidrasi dan kulit tetap sehat.

2. Sapi: Makan sedikit tapi sering. Usahakan makan besar 3 kali sehari. Disela-sela itu nggak salah kalau kamu ngemil 3-5 kali sehari. Tapi usahakan pilih makanan yang sehat. Buah adalah pilihan yang sangat baik.

3. Anak Anjing: Tidur Seperti anak anjing! Jika tidur kurang dari 8 jam, kejar di waktu lainnya. Akhir pekan mungkin waktu kejar ketinggalan waktu tidur kamu. Tidur 20 menit disela-sela berbagai kegiatan sangat baik untuk menambah energi kamu. (fta)

JOKE: Tukang ojek setan

Belum habis cerita tentang si Kolor Ijo sekarang sudah ada berita tentang Ojek setan.

Maka dari itu bagi temen2 yg suka naik ojek berhati-hatilah terutama wanita (wanita lagi-wanita lagi yg kena sasaran).

Pengalaman ini terjadi pada seorang ibu yang baru pulang malam hari (kira2 jam 8 malem) dari rumah sodaranya di daerah Tanah Kusir.

Ibu ini menunggu angkot di jalan raya tanah kusir. Karena angkot penuh terus, ibu ini memutuskan untuk naek ojek. Tiba2 tukang ojek udah ada di depan ibu, karena udah malem dan mau hujan, naeklah ibu ini minta di antarkan kerumahnya.

Di tengah perjalanan, ibu ini merasa merinding tubuhnya mungkin karena dingin.

Setelah di depan rumahnya, ibu ini mengeluarkan uang 100 ribuan, tapi tiba2 tukang ojek ini langsung mengambil uang tersebut dan kabur ...secepat kilat ibu tersebut berteriak ... :

"...........TUKANG OJEK SETAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN"

Four "Fear Factors" of Changing Jobs

Feeling trapped by your career choices? Stuck in a line of work you hate? Whether it's a general feeling of dullness or a clear revelation that you're a marketing exec in a computer programmer's body, changing careers can be scary - so scary that many opt to continue doing work they don't enjoy or find satisfying.

Here are the top four fears that keep people from seeking a more rewarding career along with strategies to minimize risk and make a successful transition:

Fear Factor #1 - "I Don't Have Experience in My Desired Field"
Just because a line of work is different from what you're doing now, doesn't mean you aren't - or couldn't soon be - qualified to do the job. Oftentimes, people find they can build on core functional skills they already have.

Talk to at least three people who are doing the job you envision. Find out what skills, training and experience are needed and assess your own career and life experience to see where you match these requirements and where there are gaps. Then, put together a plan to close the gaps. The plan may involve an internship, taking classes, or volunteering to do related tasks for your present employer or a non-profit organization.

Remember, it's not uncommon for high-level executives to have rotated through a variety of disciplines in an organization. The key is to show how your assets and transferable skills would make you successful in the new position.

Fear Factor #2 - "I Can't Afford a Pay Cut"
Many people are reluctant to change careers because of financial responsibilities. There are a number of ways to manage this. First, don't feel you have to take the plunge all at once. You could put together a three- to five-year strategy that would gradually move you into a new profession. The strategy may include a financial plan to cut expenses, put money aside or find alternate funding, so that when you begin your new career, you can ride out a lean year or two.

Or, you could start a parallel career, where you keep your full-time job while working weekends or one night a week in your desired profession. (Those who have done this advise against discussing this with your primary employer.) By keeping your main job, you'll have a steady income while you build your credentials and gain experience to work full-time in your desired career.

Fear Factor #3 - "I'm Too Old to Change Careers Now"
Researchers and anthropologists strongly disagree with this notion - as does author Gail Sheehy, who has written extensively on the subject. In Passages, named by the Library of Congress as one of the ten most influential books ever written, Sheehy shows through case studies how those in mid-life and beyond have profoundly changed their lives and careers. According to Sheehy, instead of declining, men and women who embrace a "Second Adulthood" (ages 45-75) and even a "Third Adulthood" (75 and beyond) are progressing into lives of deeper meaning and renewed creativity. Her research shows it isn't uncommon for people to have three to five different careers in a lifetime.

Fear Factor #4 - "I'm Struggling to Get Through the Day. Where Would I Find the Energy?"
Begin with a vision; having a sense of purpose is a great source of strength. Then build a plan and surround yourself with people who support your goals. Don't let anxiety or other negative emotions control your thinking and drain your energy. Nurture your mental and physical health and take time each week to assess your progress toward your goal.

And remember to keep your expectations realistic; change doesn't happen overnight. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger used a long-range plan of volunteer work, community service and self-study to go from movie action hero to governor at age 56.

Face the Fear and Do it Anyway
If that's not enough to convince you to take your first step toward a career change, consider this: A study by Duke University found that people who enjoyed their work live longer. That's right. The top predictor of longevity - even more important than diet, exercise or good genes - is work satisfaction. So don't let fear be a factor. Start planning a longer, more satisfying future today!

JOKE: Pelayan Toko Bangunan

Di sebuah toko bahan bangunan :

Pembeli : Tolong dong pakunya 1 Kg.
Pelayan : Dibungkus ya...?
Pembeli : enggak, makan di sini aja (dengan muka kesal)
Pelayan: $*%$

JOKE: Tukang Daging dan Ibu-ibu Sakit Gigi

Suatu pagi lewatlah seorang penjual daging."Dageeeng! Dageeeeennngg!!!" teriaknya.

Seorang ibu rumah tangga yang sedang sakit gigi sewot banget mendengar teriakan si tukang daging.

Ibu: "Hei tukang daging! Lu kagak punya otak ya....!!!???"
Tukang daging : "Wah kebetulan gak punya, Bu. Hari ini daging semua..."

JOKE: Absen Kelas

Di kelas 1 sebuah Sekolah Dasar sedang ada absen kelas...

Guru: "Nana Yuliani!"
Nana: "Saya, Bu!"
Guru: "David Hutagalung!"
David: "Saya, Bu!"
Guru: "Tono Surtono M!"
Tono: "Saya, Bu!"
Guru: "Tono, tolong sini sebentar..."
Tono: "Kenapa, Bu Guru?"
Guru: "Ibu agak nggak suka sama nama kamu. Kalo udah Tono, jangan pake
Surtono lagi. Jadinya aneh. Bilangin itu ke bapak kamu, ya!?"
Tono: "Iya, Bu!"
Guru: "Ngomong-ngomong, M-nya itu singkatan dari apa?"
Tono: "Martono, Bu!"

JOKE: Bunuh Diri dengan Sehat

Seorang nenek terlihat mau bunuh diri di Atas jembatan sambil membawa sabun.

Polisi: "Nenek mau bunuh diri ya?"
Nenek: "Memang nggak bisa liat apa?"
Polisi: "Tapi kok! bawa sabun segala, Nek?"
Nenek: "Cara sehat untuk mati!"
Polisi: ???????

JOKE: 225 M!

Dua orang murid sedang berjalan-jalan di sebuah museum. Lalu mereka melihat sebuah mumi. Di bawahnya bertuliskan 225 M.

Murid 1 : "225 M itu maksudnya apa ya?
Murid 2 : "Mungkin itu nomor mobil yang menabraknya dulu."

JOKE: Arogansi Amerika!

Cuplikan percakapan radio antara kapal perang Amerika dan otoritas Rusia.

Rusia: "Harap belokkan kapal Anda 15 derajat ke Selatan untuk menghindari tabrakan.
Amerika: "Lebih baik Anda yang membelok!"
Rusia: "Anda yang harus membelok untuk menghindari tabrakan!"
Amerika: "Saya kapten US Navy. Saya bilang belokkan kapal Anda!!!!"
Rusia: "Tidak. Saya katakan sekali lagi, belokkan kapal Anda!!!"
Amerika: "Ini adalah Aircraft Carrier US Lincoln, kapal kedua terbesar dari Armada Atlantik Amerika Serikat Kami dilengkapi tiga destroyer, tiga cruiser dan sejumlah kapal pendukung. Saya MINTA Anda belok 15 derajat ke Utara. Sekali lagi saya ulangi 15 derajat ke Utara, atau sebuah tindakan akan dilakukan untuk mengamankan kapal Anda!"
Rusia: "Amerika goblok!!!!! Ini mercusuar!!!

JOKE: Smary Saklitinov

Seorang guru baru tengah mengabsen murid-muridnya. Sang guru tertarik dengan sebuah nama, dan dengan penasaran si guru lalu memanggil muridnya.

Guru: "Smary Saklitinov, coba kemari!"
Murid: "Ya bu, saya."
Guru: "Sini kamu nak, kamu keturunan Yugoslavia yach?"
Murid: "Nggak bu!"
Guru: "Lalu kenapa nama kamu Smary Saklitinov?"
Murid: "Oo...itu, Smary itu singkatan dari nama bapak saya (S)urtono dan ibu saya (Mary)anti.
Guru: "Mmmm...lalu Saklitinov?"
Murid: "Sabtu Kliwon Tiga November."

BIARKAN CINTA YANG MEMILIH

Banyak hal dihadapan kita,
kadang kita sulit untuk memahaminya,
kita memang lagi diuji tentang cinta & kesetiaan,
tapi ketahuilah BIARKAN CINTA YANG MEMILIH,
karena pasti tau siapaaku.

have a true joy @ Christmas

A wonderful life is ours when we know the CHRIST of CHRISTMAS,
have a true joy @ Christmas & may GOD bless us abundantly in 2005.

DEFINITIONS AND MEANINGS

Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing throught"the minds of either".

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway, "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest..except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Selamat bertambah usia, ya !

Banyak hal tak kupahami,
Dalam masa menjelang,
Namun satu hal bagiku pasti,
Tanganku ku tau Tuhan yang pegang.

God Bless You.

Selamat bertambah usia, ya !
Sukses selalu.

Tuty Tobing & Family

Wish U a blessed 2005 !

How has 2004 been 4 U ?
Whatever it may be, remember that new year always brings new beginning & new hope !
Wish U a blessed 2005 !


Ajeng, end of 2004

Owe mo wilang epi nu yel

Haiya ...
Owe mo wilang epi nu yel ....
Sulamak taon walu aaa,
Tuhang welkati ni wunya klualga,
wunya kangtao lanca2,
wanyak luwik,
wadan seat haa ...
Bai bai

courtesy of Herman Silalahi - Kanisius 82

TRUE FRIEDNS never fail to pray & wish you MERRY XMAS !

..... even without seeing much,
..... even without talking often,
..... even without saying a word,
TRUE FRIEDNS never fail to pray & wish you MERRY XMAS !
All the best

courtesy of Benny BF - Kanisius 82

Wishing u HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005

If u had sex 365 times this year and kept all the condoms and melt them,
U can make a tire & actually call it a GOODYEAR

Wishing u HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005

Happy New Year 2005

Health makes all things possible,
Wealth makes all things work,
Happiness makes all things simple,
Love makes all things beautiful.

May you have all these this coming year ..............

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005

courtesy of Harry Bako

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) The polished salesman demonstrated how to polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row in alternate rows.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind down the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in my new dress, I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? (This whole discussion is odd)

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

How come when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Slow down (or slow up), and enjoy life.

Could You be the Boss?

by Kate Lorenz

Ready to take on a leadership role at work? In this interview with Marshall Goldsmith, corporate America's preeminent executive coach, he tells you how to show you've got the right stuff:

What are companies looking for when vetting potential leaders?
Basically, they want someone who can mobilize others to turn their organization's values into action and vision into realities. Most often this means they're looking for people who have a global perspective and cross-cultural understanding, are able to build partnerships and alliances and can process information and learn in a highly efficient manner.

How do you communicate your leadership abilities in an interview or a resume?
For a high-level position, show your ability to think broadly, strategically and for the long-term good of the organization. Discuss your past achievements in terms of how you evaluated situations, processed information and took action by looking at the big picture.

For mid-management jobs, make it clear you achieved great results, but focus on execution and how you helped lead a team to success. Don't make it all about you. Instead, discuss how you helped others develop and how people who worked for you accomplished objectives and achieved results.

What if you haven't held a leadership role before?
One way to demonstrate your interest and aptitude is to seek feedback from coworkers on what you can do to improve. Focus on making just a few changes, and check in on your progress. Not only will your performance and relationships improve, but the feedback can help you make the case for having 'leadership qualities.'

And remember, leaders don't always have to have direct reports. You can be a leader by driving change. As a change-leader, focus on what needs to be altered as judged by who is setting the measurement standard. Make sure the person keeping score - be it a boss, senior management or customer - will find value in the changes you make. And build in ongoing follow-up to ensure your improvements are recognized and working.

When sharing these experiences, describe how you helped lead change to meet expectations of those looking for change.

How would you answer the inevitable 'what are your greatest strengths and weaknesses' questions? Don't give a generic answer. Tailor your response to the needs of the job. Highlight a strength that is needed for the particular position. And by all means, don't mention a weakness in an area that is a major job requirement!

Avoid trite, overused answers like, 'I work too hard' or 'I'm a perfectionist.' Leaders are always learning and improving, so don't ever say you are a hopeless anything.

Position how you learned and improved over time. Show how you obtained feedback from your peers or employees and how you've gotten better and are still working on improvement.

What's the best way to sell yourself ... to make them want you and not the other guy?

Mass marketing doesn't work in a job search, so redo your resume and cover letter, so that it is tailored specifically to each opportunity.

Speak in terms of positives you can bring to the company or job and what you can do for them. Show your skills and knowledge and how you can add value. Adding value is important.

Stay away from messages that say 'I'm wonderful, you should hire me.' No one wants a prima donna.

How can one become a better leader?
By asking a variety of key stakeholders for ideas, opinions and suggestions and modeling continuous learning in your day-to-day behavior through effective listening and reflection.

A good leader is a good coach, so help others around you develop. When giving feedback, keep it positive, simple and focused. And always be forward-looking. You can't change the past, but you can influence the future.

Seven Days to a New Job

Seven Days to a New Job
By Marty Nemko


You want a new job, so you call a few friends and answer a few ads. Nothing comes of it, so you give up.

That's the typical job seeker. There's a better way to land a job: I call it the One-Week Job Search. It's the distillation of what has worked best for the over 2,000 clients I've worked with.

You'll be in for a tough week (four weeks if you're currently working full-time), but it will be worth it:
v You'll have completed most of a job search's yucky tasks in just a week.
v Unlike when doing a job search in drips and drabs, you'll build momentum, finding yourself getting on a roll.
v Most important, having made all your contacts in just a week, you've maximized your chances of getting more than one job offer at around the same time. Having that choice of job offers allows you to pick the one with the best combination of good boss, good work, good learning opportunities, and reasonable compensation. Because of that, most of my clients find that the one-week job search is more likely to lead to career contentment than even pursuing a so-called cool career.

My colleague, Libby Pannwitt, read a draft of this article and urged me to add this statement: "Before beginning, you must shut off all internal voices inclined to say, "I can't do that," "It's scary," "Eek," "Yes but," "I've tried this before," etc.

MONDAY: Write your resume. Use Microsoft Word's resume templates or Resume Maker software to create or revise your resume. The current version of Resume Maker is 11.0. You can get 10.0 at resumemaker.com for $7.99. Incorporate into your resume, two or three brief PAR stories. a Problem you faced, the intelligent way you Approached it, and its positive Resolution. Also see if you can incorporate praise quotes from bosses, peers, supervisees, or customers.
Get feedback on a draft, ideally from people you know in your target field.

Craft a 10-second, 30-second, and 60-second pitch. Each one must explain why you're looking for a job, what you're looking for, and proof you're good. For example, a ten-second pitch might be: "The company downsized, so I'm looking for another CPA position. I never thought I'd be looking for a job I have always gotten great evaluations, but that's the way it goes." The 30- and 60-second pitch adds information about the kind of job you're looking for and/or provides credible evidence that you bring a lot to the table. You may want to modify your pitch so it impresses the particular person you're talking to.

Have a ready answer for the question(s) you're most afraid you'll be asked, for example, "Why such a long gap in your employment history?"

TUESDAY: Identify 25 employers you'd like to work for, without regard to whether they're currently advertising any openings. Most job seekers should focus on small, growing companies and government agencies in their target industry within reasonable commuting distance. How to find them? One approach is look for want ads with multiple job openings at a company you've never heard of. Those are usually small companies in growth mode the ones most likely to be hiring for a wide range of positions. Find those ads by entering your locale on major employment websites. Government jobs are rarely advertised except on their own websites. To find federal agencies with openings, go to www.usajobs.opm.gov. That lists over half of the available federal openings. Most of the remaining ones are on individual federal agency websites. For a link to those, go to:
www.federaljobs.net. For links to state, county, and local government websites nationwide, go to http://statelocalgov.net.

Research the 25 employers. Take no more than 15 minutes on each. The time to put in more time per company is when you have an interview scheduled. For now, do your research simply by looking at the employer's website and by googling the employer's name. Have a file in which you store notes about each employer.

Note: In some fields, much hiring is done by agencies, for example, in accounting, the Robert Half Agency. If so, add those agencies to your list of potential employers.

If you are looking for a job for which you are unusually well-qualified, also add headhunters to your list of contacts. Find the right ones by calling a human resources department of a large company and ask which headhunter they use to fill the sort of position you're seeking.

Contact the 25 people in your network most likely to help you get a job, especially a job at one of your 25 target employers. Use email or phone, whichever you're more comfortable with. Give your 10- or 30-second pitch and then ask, "Might you know someone at any of these 25 employers, or elsewhere for that matter who you think I should talk with?" If appropriate, also ask if your contact would review your resume and cover letter or do a mock interview with you.

WEDNESDAY: Email or phone any leads given to you by your network that are not among the 25 employers you've targeted.

Try to contact the person who would be your boss, but an HR person is okay too. Pleasant persistence can help you get through.

Start with your 30-second pitch, enthusiastically delivered. (Smile when talking on the phone.) After that, listen more than talk. Ask questions about the employer's needs so you can better understand how you might be helpful. If you have an idea, propose it, but tactfully, for example, "In listening to you, it would seem I could help you by doing X. What do you think?" If you think it would impress that particular employer, tell one or two of your PAR stories:

Visit each of the 25 employers' websites and apply for any on-target jobs. Start your cover letter by mentioning your referrer, if any. Then explain, point-by-point, how you meet the requirements stated in the ad. Include a sentence or two that capitalizes on the knowledge you obtained yesterday about that employer.

Your goal is to, by the end of the week, have applied for 10 openly advertised on-target jobs. You probably won't find ten on those 25 employers' sites. Find the rest on employment websites.

THURSDAY AND FRIDAY (and Saturday, if needed): On those 25 employers' websites, if there is no listed job to apply for, write a brief email to the CEO or other senior employee.
Example: "I'm a good operations manager who's just been part of a downsizing at the BigWhup Widget Corp. I'm attracted to your company because I have experience in your industry, liked what I saw on your website (insert a specific), and, I must admit, because I live just ten minutes away. I'm attaching my resume. I'd welcome the opportunity to speak with you or a designee to see if and how I might be of help to you.
Sincerely,
Joe Jobseeker

Also, finish and send those 10 job applications you identified on Wednesday.

If, within a week, you haven't heard from people you've contacted, call to follow up. Don't hesitate to leave voice mail. If, for example, you had cold-contacted an employer, say something like, "I'm (insert your name), the operations manager at the BigWhup Widget Company who was just part of a downsizing and phoned you. I'm assuming that not having heard from you, you're too busy to respond. I can understand. But I know that sometimes, things can fall between the cracks, so I'm taking the liberty of calling to follow up. If you or one of your people are interested in talking with me or have any advice as to where I should turn, I'd appreciate a call. My phone number is (repeat the number twice.) And my name, again, is (insert name.) Thank you."

Of course, you'll not hear back from most of the people you contact even from the employers whose ads you're responding to--but you'll likely get at least one bite. Often it's from an employer who has been thinking about hiring but hasn't gotten to the laborious process yet. Sometimes, an employer finds it easier to just vet you and be done with it.

If the above method doesn't bear fruit, repeat the process with a different job or industry target and/or seek assistance from a private career counselor or government-sponsored One-Stop. (To find your local One-Stop, go to www.servicelocator.org.)

Mark, who had been a dot.com project manager, wanted another job like that. He came to me having tried for two years with no success. I said, "The world is telling you it has changed or that the world doesn't want you in that job. Let's change focus." He started looking for a job as a manager in the field of corporate security and, in a month, landed a job.